Documenting all love stories near or far

Shelby Jane

March 17, 2022

How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping

FILED IN: Advice, Elopement

Couple eloping in the Colorado mountains

Eloping is becoming more & more popular for couples getting married throughout the US. With this rise in popularity, the question of how to tell your family you’re eloping is becoming more & more common. 

While the conversation may be difficult, if it means that you’re able to have your dream wedding day, then it is definitely something that has to be done. If you’re stressing a bit thinking about this important conversation then I have good news for you! This blog is going to walk you through exactly how to prepare for telling your family you’re eloping.

Husband kisses bride's forehead after elopement in Alaska
Husband and bride hug in front of Alaska cabin after elopement

Let them in on the Plan

Because eloping is more than likely different from what your family is used to in terms of getting married, it can be helpful to walk into your conversations with your family with a rough idea of what your plans will be.  Painting a picture for your family members, & talking about why you’re so excited for your wedding day helps them to feel excited for you & your plans from the get go.  It also gently reminds them that your wedding isn’t about them without directly saying that it isn’t about them.

Bring pictures of where you’re planning to elope, tell your family what kind of food you plan to eat for dinner & show them where you’re staying. All of these things will help your family to picture the experience you’re planning with the love of your life. Having a picture in their mind will let them better understand what you’re going for with your wedding & get them more comfortable with the idea that they may not be there.

Couple walking through a street in Chicago after eloping

Questions to be Prepared for

If your family hasn’t had someone elope before, your elopement can end up being a bit confusing to them at first.  It’s important from the get-go to tell your family know that your choice to elope isn’t about them or your love for them.  It’s about you & the experience you & your honey want to have as you promise to spend the rest of your life with one another.

Why are you Eloping?

There are many reasons why you & your honey are opting to elope. Whether it’s the pressure of traditions, cravings for an intimate experience, your love for adventure, or simply you just want to do it, make sure to tell your family that you are eloping because it’s about you. This is your wedding day & you both should be able to experience it exactly how you imagine it.

How & When are you eloping?

This ties back to the above idea of painting a picture for your family. It’s important to come into these conversations with a plan on how, where & when you plan to elope.  Not only will this help them to digest what you’re telling them, but it will also help them to understand why you’re opting to elope & what your wedding day will look like.

What about family?

Let them know how much you love your family & how excited you are to celebrate with them back home in a more intimate setting.  Let them know how you plan to involve them in other ways in your wedding. If you’re not sure how to do that here are a few ideas on how to incorporate your family into your elopement.

Bride and groom celebrate their elopement with their family under a tent

If You Want Them There, Let Them Know!

Believe it or not, you CAN have your family there for your elopement!  Have them come for the whole day, just the ceremony or just the reception. This is your day, so you get to decide how you would like your family to support you throughout the process.  Rent out a house to host all your family & friends for a weekend of festivities, & provide a rough timeline of when & what festivities you would like them to be a part of. 

If Not, Let them Know How to Be a Part of it

If you don’t plan on having your family or certain members at your elopement there are plenty of other ways to involve them. Have them help pick out the tie you’ll wear on the day, or let them help you pack for your trip!  Have them write letters leading up to your wedding day for you & your honey to read the morning of.  There are SO many different ways to incorporate your family into your elopement process. If you’re looking for more ideas on how to include your friends & family into your elopement day, check out this blog post here!

Husband kisses wife's forehead after eloping in Alaska

Telling your family that you’re eloping might feel overwhelming when you first think about it. Remember that your wedding day is about you & that even though they may not be there there are still so many ways to show that you love them. If you’re looking for a photographer for your elopement check out my Instagram for some inspiration, & if you like what you see head over to my contact page so we can get to planning!